Tidak satupun hal di dunia ini membuat kita sedih dan menderita, melainkan kita yang menghidupi kekhawatiran akan masa depan dan menyuburkan sakit masa lalu yang sebenarnya hanya ada di pikiran. Tidak satupun hal di dunia membuat sedih selama fokus kita adalah hal nyata yang kita hadapi dilandasi keyakinan terhadap Allah SWT. Sebanyak apapun yang memenuhi pikiran, sebesar apapun yang menyesakki dada, tetaplah dunia berputar seperti biasa. Tidak ada yang perlu dirisaukan dari pikiran yang putus asa, selain hiduplah di dunia nyata. Manusia tidak didesain untuk selalu bahagia, namun ikhlas dan percaya bahwa Allah ada. 

Saya kira pikiran saya yang berantakan, ternyata hubungan saya dan Allah SWT yang berantakan. Hati yang gundah adalah pertanda perlunya menilik kualitas ibadah. Tiada ketentraman dan kedamaian yang dapat diperoleh kecuali kembali padaNya. 

Membumikan Hati

Beberapa hari ini saya dan teman saya membahas tentang suatu hadist yang menyatakan bahwa tidak akan masuk surga seseorang yang memiliki kesombongan di dalam hatinya meski seberat biji sawi. Setelah saya merenung, memang Islam selalu mengajarkan kita untuk mempunyai hati dan pikiran yang murni, tidak bersedih hingga berlarut, bahagia tanpa berlebih, dan bereaksi sewajarnya. Karena kemudian semua hal dikembalikkan pada Sang Pencipta. Saya mengamati sekeliling saya, teman-teman saya, keluarga saya, dan setiap perubahan pada diri saya sendiri. Seseorang yang terlihat berjaya, tidak selamanya akan berjaya atas izin Allah SWT. Seseorang yang terlihat biasa kemudian akan luar biasa pada saatnya atas izin Allah SWT (dengan perantara usaha yang dilakukan orang tersebut). Seseorang yang bersedih dan ditimpa musibah, suatu hari diberikan kasih sayangNya melalui kebahagiaan dan ketenangan hati. Seseorang yang terlihat biasa, ternyata memiliki hal yang luar biasa pada dirinya. Seseorang yang terlihat sempurna, ternyata memiliki ketidaksempurnaan yang menjadikannya "memang manusia". Lalu kemudian, jika Allah SWT Maha Kuasa untuk membolak-balikkan keadaan serta hati, apa yang menjadikan kita merasa lebih baik dari orang lain? Apa yang bisa melandasi kita untuk meremehkan orang lain? Tidak ada.

Dibalik setiap usaha yang kita lakukan, adalah Allah SWT yang memberikan izin kita untuk berhasil. Dibalik setiap kegagalan yang kita peroleh, adalah Allah SWT yang telah berkehendak untuk terjadinya hal tersebut, dan jika kita berdoa serta meminta rahmatNya, insyaAllah akan dibukakan jalan. Karena pun sebenarnya, apa yang kita anggap sebagai kegagalan tidak selalu bermuara pada keburukan. Belajar tawadhu  dapat dimulai dari mendoakan setiap orang yang terkena musibah untuk segera dikuatkan hati dalam menghadapi ketentuan Allah, memaafkan kesalahan orang lain, khusnudzon atas perlakuan orang lain, mendoakan kesadaran dan kebaikan atas tindakan orang lain (yang mungkin kurang berkenan bagi kita), bersyukur atas semua nikmat yang Allah berikan, mendoakan kebahagiaan orang lain serta turut berbahagia ketika orang lain diberi nikmat oleh Allah SWT. 

Dari siapakah semua nikmat yang ada di muka bumi ini? Allah SWT.

Atas kehendak siapakah semua hal yang terjadi di muka bumi ini? Allah SWT.

Selamat hari memulai hari dengan indah semuanya <3

animal illustration

I wonder how if I turn my art in to wearable things like pouch, bag, or anything. Can't wait!

(unfinished bird)

paint on canson aquarelle paper

using winsor and newton cotman watercolor

Infobesity and Social Media

Mc Keown said on his book that nowadays technology has lowered the barrier for others to share their opinion about what we should be focusing on. It’s not just information overload, it’s opinion overload. The preponderance of opinions has overwhelmed our ability to manage it. For some cases, it’s no need to look for what’s going on. Information just jump to us through our gadget, like a morning message from Line Today, a text through whatsapp group, a notification from Twitter or Instagram, an email about sale from some online shops, a pop up from our browser, etc.

Now it’s very easy to dig any information we want to know, about health, film review, new hype places, food, someone we like, etc. It’s good a news, it makes us easier to find anything we want to know. But in other side, it’s a bad news. The side effect of infobesity can lead us to have attention disorder trait, a lack of productivity, lack of confidence, poor decision making, other. And something which is really close with us now is social media, where information are very easy to exchange and drive people assumption.

Some of us now easily share everything without feeling guilty. Ago, we would be angry everytime our friend/sister took our diary. Ago, it felt so shy to ask someone give her/his photograph. But today, we don’t need to be their inner circle  to have their photographs. Several people won’t be angry if people read their status knowing them having some big problems in life. In a day, we would be overwhelmed by a lot of information, from news about divorce, marriage of your ex, what your friends do, where your friend travel and sometimes those information aren’t urgent/important to follow.

Social Media has changed many people not only on how they interact each other, but also their habit on how they use the platform itself. How much time wasted on kepo-ing ex, girlfriend’s ex, or someone else? How much time wasted on browsing something (in fact) we don’t need? Scrolling timeline? Scrolling explore? We now can ‘adore’ someone just because their digital image. And we now can ‘hate’ someone based on what we see through their image on internet.

Through her book, Lagom, Akerstorm said “we are now living in times of undue pressure that demand we constantly remain unplugged in and connected with the rest of the world, stay on top of breaking news by the second, and keep up with dizzying speed of technological advancements, lifestyle changes and pop culture norms.” For what? But technology has made us to do so. We are now moving to unnatural pace, trying to keep up with everything. Once we heard about a viral news, we will try to stay relevant. Or when there is new hype stores open, we will try to avoid getting metaphorically left behind. It feels like there is internal push to stay up-to-date and relevant with surroundings. While sometimes we forget about the essence why we are doing so.

Being left behind to your girls’s instastories  wouldn’t decrease your wealth. Knowing the first about people’s life, apple stock price or HBR new articles won’t add significant value to your life, unless you work for that. So, why are you doing so? We are now afraid of being left behind, not up-to-date about other’s life, about the most-recent-viral news. Is that really mean to our life?

Beside being overwhelmed by the preponderance of opinion/information,  I’m just bored reading many hatred, hoax through social media. It’s just scary when people nowadays can easily conclude, judge based on opinions without pretending it’s credibility. How hoax is really easy to spread, and sadly some people now easily believe too. Once government announce some new regulations, there will be some (oh no- but - many) people become ‘expert’ or ‘guru’ just in several days. Some of them are shaped by 24-hours news cycle and driven by emotional also personal belief. Once gossip account exposed a new post, many people will comment with hate like they know and close enough with the artist. In fact, what's the impact to our life when we comment with hate? How if you are on the bullied people side. Even in other hand, I should thank to social media. Because of them, I can promote my online shop, sell my product, and ask people to join some movements.

Sometimes we need to shut our world out in order to relax, rejuvenate our bodies, emotionally, mentally.  Use social media wisely and filter what you read before you believe. Be kind, share love, not hatred J

Sleep tight baby Al.

I’ve heard many stories about soon-to-be mom strugling for her maternity. It’s quite sucessful making me worry about my self in the future. But everytime I see their sincere smile and how grateful they are having their baby healthy, I realize all the strugle are worth to pass. I can’t wait to have my own photo session with my baby. But first, here several photos I took for my friend's baby.

And for baby Alesha, thanks for your coming in this world. I hope you grow to be a happy kind-hearted girl.

isolated food vector

see (and buy) my works here [click]

Drawing Flower #digital

quick sketch with Corel X7

Eating and Emotional State

Health is more than just physical well-being, being mentally healthy is a must too. It’s important to not only focus on physic but also mental aspect. Several weeks ago I find my self using eating to comfort me on every “not-that-good” situations. I wonder how if I eat savoury foods and snacks then gaining some happiness, while I hope it can reduce my uncomfortable feelings. But finally I realize that was not a good habit. I ate everything that I thought it can reduce my emotional complexity. I didn’t even think about the nutrition and calories which enter my body. And according to what I read, it’s emotional eating, using food to make my self feel better—eating to satisfy emotional needs, rather than to satisfy physical hunger.

 

 “As I ate the oysters with their strong taste of the sea and their faint metallic taste that the cold white wine washed away, leaving only the sea taste and the succulent texture, and as I drank their cold liquid from each shell and washed it down with the crisp taste of the wine, I lost the empty feeling and began to be happy, and to make plans.” - Ernest Hemingway, A Moveable Feast

When people turn to food and they're not physically hungry, it means that they're using food for something else besides satisfying the needs of the body. They're using it for a different kind of hunger, an emotional hunger, a psychological hunger, or a spiritual hunger. - Geneen Roth, Hughes & Hughes

The sentence Ernest Hemingway’s written above tells us that he used food to feel some sensation and it made him happy. Hemingway described the effects of a simple plate of oysters on his happiness and well-being while in Paris in the 1920s. It means he used food not for satisfying his physical hunger but for psychological hunger like what Geneen Roth has said. So do I, who sometimes make an association between delicious food and happiness. It’s okay when I do it once or twice. It’s okay when I make an association between coffee and stress relieve, then I drink coffee sometimes. It’s okay when I eat donuts to refresh my mind and begin to make several plans. But it won’t be okay when it leads to uncontrollably consumption. And it won’t be okay when it turns to be long-term habit that leads to obesity. Before you regret for everything that you have done to your body, better to realize earlier that you are what you eat (—everything that enter the body like food, information, knowledge, etc.) And yes, I do apologize to my body for using food as an escapism, also for letting the weight gain day by day as the effect of uncontrollably eating. Now, I don’t even know why I ate that super oily fried rice or fried cabbage with fried chicken in huge size while I didn’t know what kind of oil they used to fry.... or how much calories I gave for my body, babe. 

Several research has found that chocolate can encourage body to produce endorphin. Endorphin is kind of compound that’s able to reduce stress. Even there’s still many variants mostly consisted by dark cocoa. But I often meet chocolate bar consisted by more sugar than cocoa. It’s okay to eat them once or twice. But it’s not okay to consume sugar in excessive way since sugar isn’t good for our health in some amounts. Our body is consisted by approximately 5 liters of blood. And we just need only 5gr of sugar a day. Pancreas will work harder every time we consume more than our body needs.  Eat chocolate or something sweet when you are sad is okay. But, it’s better to manage our emotional state in order to avoid eating sugar in excessive way. In long term, managing our psychological aspect is a better choice than depending on food to reduce our emotional complexity. It’s not easy to manage and it takes process to reach a stable state. But if we don’t start to learn, to accept, to realize, we will never grow.

As I realize I’ve let my self fall in this unhealthy habit, I try to read several articles how to manage my emotional complexity. According to Herman and Polivy (2005), the relation between eating and mental health is thus bi-directional: one's psychological state can affect what and how much one eats, and eating affects one's mood and psychological well-being. The consequences of eating on mental health may reinforce healthy or unhealthy eating patterns. 

The end, let’s try to control the cognitive aspect, like managing emotion, trying to fix the way we see problems, practicing “ikhlas” even sometimes it’s hard to do. And like what Herman and Polivy (2005) said, since they have a bi-directional relationship, so from the one side, we can control our emotional state in order to not reinforce the unhealthy eating pattern. While the other side, we can control what we eat which affects to our mood and psychological well-being. It may be not easy, but we can train ourselves to do it so. Good luck everyone, be healthy, be happy!  

 Cheers,WP.

The Sweety Seoul

sometimes we have to go outside to see what happen inside.

Beauty Review : Sheet Mask Nature Republic

Last month I went to Seoul, South Korea, joining a kind of youth leadership program.  I have planned to do a backpacker after finishing the program, exploring some cities there. And yes, right after the program came to the end, with my friends, we booked a low-budget room to stay at Insadong for several days.

I was the one who's not really concern about make up, until my friend met me with Korean skin care and make up. I didn't even know that Korean make-up was really hype in Indonesia that time. So, I tried to buy several items like masker, facial foam, bio-peel, bb collagen, bb cushion, eye brow pencil, toner, emulsion, and moisturizer. Half of them I bought to resell in Indonesia. Half of them I bought to use by myself.

I browsed and googled to find several information about Korean skin care. From what I got based on beauty bloggers and vloggers's review, I chose to buy masker from Nature Republic (NR).

First Impression
It was the first time I use a sheet mask. My skin felt so fresh and well-hydrated. I just think that I don't need any other me-time, because applying masker enough to make my mind relax.

Relaxing Fragrance
The most I loved from this masker is the fragrance. For some situations, I use sheet masks for self-relaxation, it gives a really good me-time.

How to Use
1. Start with a fresh face, better to wash our face and putting toner before we apply the mask. It helps prep skin to absorb the ingredients.
2. Set a 10-15minute time limit. Many people say they use masker as long as they can. But according to what I read behind the package, it's better to use it 10-15 minutes only. And if we keep the sheet mask after it becomes dry, it will moisture away from our skin.

Benefit
After several weeks using masker from NR, my face feels well-hydrated and fresh.

Reminder
For me, how often we take care of body outside, better to manage our nutrition inside. It's important to eat fruits and vegetables often. So, don't forget to make a balance  between taking care both inside and outside.

Prewedding Story from Yogyakarta

When you try to hide, when you try to burn, when you try to avoid but you can't, may be that's love! My weekend was so good. I can't wait for next weekend, next next and next with Laska Pictures.

NB : These photos below have been converted in to smaller pixels.

Courtesy of Okto and Riska

Taken at Roaster and Bear Caffe and Dlingo, Bantul - Yogyakarta

Make up by Dian Damai

Properties and Photos by Laska Pictures

bw mode of happiness

50mm f2.0

people say beauty is something seen, but I just feel that it's unseen

my shoot for friend // 2016

Painting Flower #2

My painting from several years ago. Long time no see brush and their friends.

Can't wait to see you soon, colors! 

What are you looking for?

Somebody is sitting on the corner of the road while grumbling about her life. And somebody else is looking at her while wondering to be her. A girl is dumped by her boy, while somebody else has been waiting for several years wondering the girl being his. Children ask a lot of things after seeing their friends, while parents put their head over the heels to fulfill their needs.

God gives more, they want more for more. What are you looking for? Enjoy your own bowl, thanks more, happy more.

Painting Flower

Having pentel watercolor since I was highschool but I never use it. Outside are so hot and I have an idea to go nowhere. Staying at my room then painting is such a good idea. I love flowers, I like roses, crysanthemum, tuberose, etc. I always wonder how if I have small garden on my home soon, seems so cute. I believe that all of flowers are beautiful. They have their own markets and beautiful as they are.

Keluarga Krincing!

Lebih jauh dari eksekusi dan hasil, yang mahal dari sebuah proses kreatif adalah ide dan konsep. Untuk beberapa kasus, pengerjaan mungkin bisa dikebut dalam hitungan hari atau minggu. Namun lebih dalam dari itu, merumuskan konsep dan mendatangkan ide terkadang jauh lebih membutuhkan waktu dan pertimbangan. Eksekusi ide akan lebih mudah dan cepat dilakukan jika ide dan konsep sudah matang.

Mungkin sebagian berfikir bahwa "Bikin gitu aja sehari bisa kan?" "Tinggal buka illustrator nya" ....  Terimakasih master Tegar atas obrolan yang ringan, yang udah ngeluangin banyak waktunya, yang udah ngajarin pake wacoom, ngewarnain pake illustrator dan ngajarin banyak hal. Terimakasih teman teman kreasi yang baik semuanyaaa ♡♡

Resilience.

Alhamdulillah, today is really a good day :)

Beberapa tahun silam saya membaca Rectoverso karangan Dewi Lestari. Dalam cerpennya berjudul "Firasat", ia menceritakan tentang seorang wanita yang kerap mengikuti perkumpulan bernama Firasat. Dalam perkumpulan itu para anggotanya saling berbagi kisah yang difasilitasi oleh seorang yang ingin menghidupkan kembali kemampuan anggotanya untuk membaca hati. Alur cerpennya begitu mengalir tenang dan mudah diikuti. Namun kemudian saya bertanya "adakah perkumpulan semacam itu?"

Hari ini kembali lagi berkumpul bersama teman-teman untuk yang ke-5 kalinya. Perkumpulan ini adalah perkumpulan yang menyenangkan. 6 orang berkumpul lalu 2 orang sebagai pemateri memberikan pandangannya. Kadang diselingi diskusi ataupun penyampaian pendapat. Saya selalu bersemangat untuk datang. Saya tidak terlalu suka ghibah, Hey "Let people be people " "They know much better about their life dibandingkan kita sebagai penonton". Obrolan kali ini cukup mengena dalam buat saya yaitu tentang Resilience, ketahanan atau kemampuan seseorang untuk "dealing" dan beradaptasi dengan musibah, tantangan, stress dan lainnya. Resilience terdiri dari faktor protektif dan faktor resiko. Faktor resiko adalah segala sesuatu yang mempengaruhi kita sebagai manusia. Dan faktor protektif adalah hal yang bisa meminimalisasi adanya faktor resiko. Ketika faktor protektif lebih besar porsinya maka kita akan menjadi seseorang yang resilient. Penekanannya adalah kepada hal yang bisa kita kontrol, yaitu diri kita, ketahanan kita. Ada faktor eksternal dan internal dalam hal ini. Faktor eksternal berkaitan dengan social support (keluarga, sahabat, komunitas, lingkungan), ekonomi, politik, budaya dan lainnya. Sedangkan faktor internal berkaitan dengan kemampuan menyusun rencana realistis, keyakinan dan pandangan yang positif, kemampuan komunikasi, kecerdasan emosi dan spiritualitas. Saya selalu menekankan pada diri saya bahwa saya tidak bisa menuntut apapun dari orang lain dan saya tidak bisa memaksa orang lain untuk selalu menuruti ekspektasi kita. Let people be people. Kita dan orang lain penghubungnya satu, komunikasi. Individu yang bisa kontrol dan tuntut satu-satunya hanyalah diri kita. Sebagai contoh, saya tidak bisa menuntut orang tua saya untuk selalu menuruti keinginan saya. Orang tua saya mempunyai keterbatasan. Orang tua saya mempunyai pola pikir yang harus saya hargai. Satu-satunya yang bisa saya kendalikan adalah diri saya dan bagaimana cara saya berkomunikasi dengan orang tua. That's. Begitu pula dengan resilience. Kita tidak bisa mengontrol apapun yang terjadi diluar sana, masalah yang tiba-tiba datang, orang yang tiba-tiba menyakiti kita. That's out of our control. That's why kita perlu ketahanan untuk mengelola semua itu. Dengan apa? Dengan faktor internal yang telah disebutkan tadi. Selain faktor internal yang harus dikembangkan tadi ada kecerdasan emosi yang sebaiknya kita pahami. Kecerdasan emosi tentang pengelolaan diri meliputi self awareness, self regulation, motivatin, empathy dan social skills. 

Self awarenes berkaitan dengan bagaimana kita mengenali emosi kita. Respon apa yang keluar ketika suatu kejadian datang kepada kita. Selanjutnya, self regulation berkaitan dengan bagaimana kita mengelola emosi kita. Di self regulation ini kita diharapkan dapat memahami diri sendiri dan mengenali prinsip kita. Emosi ada untuk dikelola dan dilampiaskan dengan cara yang baik. Kecerdasan emosi selanjutnya ada motivasi, motivasi adalah tentang bagaimana kita mengembangkan sikap-sikap positif dalam melakukan sesuatu. Kenapa saya harus melakukan ini? Apa alasannya?. Selanjutnya adalah tentang empati, kemampuan kita memahami keadaan/kondisi orang lain. Empati kadang membutuhkan proses. Tapi ya kalau menurutku, empati bukan lantas kita terus sibuk ngurusin orang lain. Tapi lebih ke kepekaan lah. Yang terakhir adalah social skills. Okay, kita adalah makhluk sosial. Pro kontra pasti ada dalam kehidupan kita bersosial. Namun saya sangat senang bersosialisasi dan ketemu orang. Menurut saya, orang lain adalah media dan tempat belajar. Orang lain adalah media untuk berbagi. Apapun, kita tidak akan pernah bisa terlepas dari orang lain karena kita nggak bisa hidup sendirian. Kehidupan bersosial merupakan kehidupan yang rawan konflik, entah konflik dengan diri sendiri ataupun konflik dengan orang lain. Ya engga juga sih, tergantung kita mensikapinya, haha. Konflik ada untuk diselesaikan. Ada banyak cara untuk mengelola konflik, mediasi, win-win-solution ataupun mediasi. Penyampaian yang baik dan komunikasi yang baik dangat dibutuhkan dalam kehidupan bersosial. 

Dan yang terakhir, belajarlah untuk selalu memandang segala sesuatu dengan cara yang positif. Seburuk-buruknya kita menganggap suatu kejadian, ada hal positif yang dapat kita petik. Seburuk-buruknya kita menilai seseorang, pasti ada hal baik yang dapat kita ambil. Berfokuslah terhadap apa yang dapat kita ambil dari lingkuan. (Klise banget sih ya keliatannya, but it's true and I believe that).

Begitu obrolan hari ini, sebenernya ada dua topik yaitu resilience dan decission making. Saya masih belajar dan masih jauh dari sempurna. Tetapi, hidup memang adalah proses belajar kan? uthlubu 'ilmi minal mahdi ilal lahdi. Semakin dewasa kita akan lebih stabil dan bijak menghadapi masalah. Terimakasih mba Wening, obrolan kali ini bukan sekadar obrolan telinga kanan telinga kiri, melainkan pembelajaran untuk jadi pribadi yang lebih baik lagi.

I couldn't imagine, ketika suatu saat nanti punya temen sharing bulanan. Kita kumpul lalu ngundang satu pemateri buat self upgrading. Disitu kita bisa berbagi cerita tentang parenting, family, how to reduce stress, how to educate kid and babies, dan lainnya. Lah emang entar mau jadi apa, punya waktu po? Ya kan siapa tahu, lagipula belajar dan diskusi tentang kebaikan adalah hal baik. Wondering ada sekolah yang ga cuma educate kids tapi para orang tuanya juga punya komunitas diskusi dan belajar, tentunya untuk lebih memahami anak-anak mereka dan treatment apa yang sebaiknya dilakukan.

Buku catatan tanggal 9 Maret 2016.

2016.

Too long for doing boondoggle outside, let's comeback to finish what I have to finish before having a bigger regret at the end. This year please darla. All you need is just sitting and typing. All is well, all I need is just a self commitment. 

Let's go to florist for flowers!

PL design

I just use black, navy or something colorless on my daily. But I can't resist my self to use pink, yellow, red and anything colorful on AI or Corel Draw pallete.